Nothing

sometimes when i meditate i feel like a failure. i can’t slow down my mind. i fidget. i open one eye and look around. i ask myself what can i do to be better? to be more?

Nothing.

when my mind spins, sometimes i tell myself there’s nothing to do. nothing to fix. nothing to stop. there’s no thing that will change this moment. and there’s nothing i can do. Is that enough?

Yes. sit. be still. focus on my inhales and exhales. it’s enough.

But shouldn’t I be doing more? Instead of doing less? it feels rebellious. it feels wrong - like i losing time, wasting time. i should be taking advantage of this time. however, time is not mine to manipulate.

am i gaining anything by doing nothing? sometimes. maybe some clarity. perspective. patience. the ability to recognize this moment. and in this moment, there is nothing and no thing to do. it is enough to sit. it is enough to breathe. and i am enough.

Enough.

slowing i am learning the art of doing nothing. slowing i am learning that doing nothing is something. and slowing i am learning that doing nothing doesn’t mean i am nothing. it means i am enough.

sit. be still. breathe.